(L-R) “Louisville Lisa” Wyly and “Outlaw Jerry James” Sietsma watch the show with their entourage, Lisa “Left Field” Sietsma and “Diamond Dana” Yasin, at the Whiskey Flat Days kickoff dinner Friday night.

The festival was conceived by the old Kernville Business Association in the 1950s as a way to bring people to the Kern River Valley during the off-season. It worked, because nowadays up to 50,000 people visit the valley during the three-day fest.

The mayoral race
A huge part of Whiskey Flat Days is the race for Honorary Mayor. The candidates raise money for their favorite charity and for the Kernville Chamber of Commerce, which spends a lot of money putting on the four-day festival. Their reward for all their hard work is the satisfaction of a job well done. And the notoriety, of course.

Sponsorships are sold, which are $100 contributions. Also sold are votes, or “bribes,” which are $1 tickets. There is usually a prize drawing attached, but the candidate who sells the most bribes gets ushered into office, sort of like in the real world.
It’s all a great deal of fun for everyone.

The candidates
One of the candidates the Courier knows very well. That’s because she works here. She is our very own ad sales executive, Valerie Minoux. As “Vintage Val, the Answer Gal” (“Ask me a question, I’ll give you an answer”), our gal Val  is raising money for Kern Valley Rotary Club scholarships and for the Kern Valley Hospital Auxiliary.

“Vintage Val” Minoux dances with a former honorary mayor of Whiskey Flat, “Rapid” Richard Rooney, at the Whiskey Flat Days kickoff dinner.

Her “posse” is composed of Jeannette “Just Jeannette” Rogers; past mayor Sheryl “Satin Sheryl” Parmelee; Marie “Madahm Marie” Rushton; Kay “Lady Of The” Knight; Melissa “Mouthpiece” Too Shy To Share Her Last Name; and Valerie’s better half, Steve “Streamside Steve” Minoux.

Lisa Wyly and Jerry Siestma are running as “Louisville Lisa” and “Outlaw Jerry James.” Lisa works as a substance abuse counselor at College Community Services in Lake Isabella and Jerry is a roofing contractor here in the valley.

Lisa has a baseball theme for her half of the campaign, hence the Louisville part of her handle, and also because they are raising money for Kern Valley Little League.

Their “posse” includes Lisa “Left Field” Sietsma, “Diamond” (natch) Dana Yasin, and the entire Kern Valley Little League board.

All the candidates have been pitching right in (another baseball joke) and raising money for their candidacies and getting their appearance schedules set up. See "Fundraiser schedules."

The Dinner
The Whiskey Flat Days Kick-off Dinner was almost a sellout, according to chamber president Cheryl Borthick. The rain may have been a factor in preventing a complete sellout, but there were still plenty of people there to enjoy the Elks Lodge’s chicken dinner.

The first presentation was made by Vintage Val. She  only had a few hours to prepare, since she had accepted the bid to run only that afternoon. She had a brown hat but not a black one, so some black spray paint solved that problem (although the hat was still smelling of paint at the dinner.) Vintage

Val was so frazzled by that point that she referred to Whiskey Flat as Whiskey “Creek” – twice. Val’s persona is that she is the prim and proper schoolmarm type who will clean up the no-good varmints who inhabit Whiskey Flat.

Louisville Lisa and Outlaw Jerry James came on with Diamond Dana and Left Field Lisa and performed a skit explaining their personas and their cause, Little League. Apparently, the pair are escaping a checkered past and are attempting to redeem themselves by coming out West and supporting the Whiskey Flat Little Leaguers.

Steve Kuhar Band

Eternal bon vivant Bill Grable (left) tries to make sure he gets the winning 50/50 ticket at the Whiskey Flat Days Kickoff Dinner Friday night, while Patty Pfluger and “Buckshot” Keith Stenerson try to do the same. Whiskey Flat Days is an annual Old West celebration put on by the Kernville Chamber of Commerce.